This is getting difficult. After descending into unplanned depths and then surfacing to the bright new light of a new day, a cloud descended over me with the passing of my dearest beloved Auntie. Yesterday was the first day I could see a break in the clouds. I have spent today in a prolonged reflection with the sky outside dashing between bright blues and sunshine to overcast and dull chills.
The poem today (read tonight), “I wake and feel the fell of dark” by GM Hopkins, was a bit of an “oh no” moment with the realisation of the subject and one very close to home. Depression. Everything described I have felt; I have been to the depths of despair and visited very dark places where hope almost didn’t exist. How I got out of it, how we as a family survived, was done through the grace of GOD. When everything around me crumbled, Christ was my constant. He was my source of strength and I stood with Him at the Cross on many occasion if not daily but it took me a long time to know He was holding my hand. He never left me and He is with me now despite the days becoming hard, I must keep my focus on Him.