Advent Diary – the night before ..

IMG_20151128_122440 Least, Last, Lost.

I felt I had to write a word in reflection before Advent begins tomorrow. This morning I received an email from SSJE (Society of St John the Evangelist) in which it said, “Jesus goes beyond simply saying that as we serve others, we serve Him. We’re not only serving him; we are seeing Him in the least and the last and the lost”.

Since Lent, I have abided to only accept each day as it dawns and to try and do the best with that day; I fail most days and harshly, I deny Christ’s resurrection. Sometimes I wonder what it is , if anything, I have to learn as I sit here in the knowledge and feeling that I am excluded from Church life and wondering how many times should I forgive their actions (it’s a story not for now). I was reminded last week that it should be seven times seventy.

I wrote last week about being the Lamb left forgotten under a bramble in the rain whilst the rest of the flock were taken into the warm barn and the doors closed.. I ask you to reflect on that precise moment the Lamb sees the door shut;  our Church doors are physically shut to those who might need it open. Pray for the Lamb.


This Advent I am attempting to follow Malcolm Guite’s book, “Waiting on the Word: A poem a day for Advent, Christmas and Epiphany”. This is going to be a challenge as I now know what I need to do, having gone through Lent with a daily reflection to Malcolm’s Lent book “Word in the Wilderness”. I met Malcolm a few weeks ago, showed him my diary ‘in the flesh’ and he remarked upon how small it was. I hadn’t intentionally bought the notebook for the purpose but it ended up being perfect for the task. I have a new notebook for my reflections, luckily I managed to get the same one again from Chichester (where I was at University). It was wonderful to be encouraged by Malcolm, he loves to hear of the interaction of his readers to his wonderful writing and sonnets. He certainly opened my mind up to Christian poetry and how theological the genre is and to the creativity in how we can use it in our lives.


I will do my best in Advent. It is essay writing time for University; I am now on a Masters course having been given the gift of a scholarship and so to juggle time in reflection and time for academic research and writing will be a challenge in itself. I hope that the experience will bring me back closer to God, I do not like to be this distant from Him. Malcolm’s work has a way of bringing me back to Him. There’s nothing more sustaining than hope at a time like this, of exclusion, isolation and loneliness.


Malcolm’s website and blog –

Society of St John –

Ignatian –



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